Tuesday, August 12, 2003

I don't know what prompted me to wonder about this the other day, I think the memory just sort of popped into my head. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced this, but at times in the past I have felt completely disconnected from my body(and not in a drug induced way). I've felt like I was watching something happen to me but not really participating. Maybe that's not even it... I guess it was more like I was doing things but not... I don't know if anyone has ever felt this way, but it's a totally surreal experience. And it wasn't just for short periods of time, it would be like whole weekends sometimes. Time would be passing and I would be doing things, but my brain wasn't processing that I was part of the action I guess. It would come to the end of the "episode" I guess, and I would think that I didn't feel like I did anything for two or three days, like my brain just decided to kick in. I really don't know why this happened. I remember thinking it was weird at the time, but then I kind of forgot about it. It hasn't happened to me for a long time now. The last time it happened I must have been about 12. I was at guide camp and I felt totally disconnected for the entire weekend. At the end of it I sort of "came to" I suppose; I remembered everything I had done, but I wasn't consciously aware of doing anything. It was totally weird. I really don't know what made me think of this, it just sort of came to me the other day. I wonder what caused it and if it will ever happen again?...